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    The Joke Thread!

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    Soul Pichu
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    The Joke Thread!

    Post by Soul Pichu on Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:58 am

    Hi everyone! This, ladies and gentlemen, is the joke thread! Feel free to post as much jokes as you want!

    Here's some of my Jokes!
    Spoiler:
    One day a pirate walked into a pet store and asked for a parrot. The lady replied, "I am sorry but we only have one parrot and, well, he isn't very pirate...ish..."

    The pirate looked at the lady and said, "What do ya mean 'not very piratish'"?


    The attendant answered "Well he sings Christmas carols when you light a match under his feet."


    "Well let me see him,"said the pirate, "I really need a parrot."


    The attendant brought out the parrot and a box of matches.


    "Here watch this" She said. She lit a match and place it under his right foot.


    The parrot squawked and started to sing "Away in a manger no crib for a bed..."


    She blew the match out lit another and placed it under his right foot.


    The parrot began to sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg......"


    She looked at the pirate who look very unsure. "He sings this one really really loud though."


    She lit a third match, put it between the parrots legs and he squawked at the top of his lungs...




    "CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!!!"
    And that's all I can say, bring in the jokes, bring in the laughs, lemme hear 'em!


    Last edited by Soul Pichu on Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:46 am; edited 1 time in total
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by narutoactor on Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:18 pm

    how do you get pickachu on the bus
    Spoiler:
    you poke-him-on
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Soul Pichu on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:57 am

    Hehe, I just had to keep this thread going, tell me off if it's too late...
    Spoiler:
    A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

    The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

    Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

    As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Cynic on Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:15 pm

    Wayne did have laugh box as a forum in this web...Just that it wasn't getting any attention so he deleted...Really, I thought it was a good idea, but eh..

    Suppose that I have a dove, named pelona, in my room, my mom comes in and says "Not that animal again, take it out, Pelona!"
    She was calling me the animal instead O_o
    Oh yeah, it was all in Spanish, and it really happened
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Soul Pichu on Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:41 am

    That's funny... (But a bit weird too O.o') I knew the "Bird Brains" Would take over! About time we get the rifles out... *Shifty eyed*

    Enough of that, here's another Joke!
    Spoiler:
    A drunken old man walked into a bar. He yells at the bartender, "Bartender get me a tequila!" The bartender rushes over to get him a tequila.

    The old man gulps it as fast as he can. Before long, he finishes it off.

    Then he looks around the bar and sees three large men at a table having some beers.

    He points at one of them and says "You! I have slept with your mother!" The man looks at the old man then goes about drinking his beer.

    Then the old man yells "Bartender! Get me another tequila!"

    The bartender gets him another tequila. The old man drinks it as fast as he can.

    Then he looks over at the three men. He points at another man and shouts

    "You! Your mother gives me a blow job!"

    The second man looks at the old man, then goes about drinking his beer.

    Then the old man yells. "Bartender! Get me another tequila!"

    This time the bartender slowly shakes his head. "No, old man, you have had enough."

    "Just one more!!" Roars the old man.

    So the bartender gets him one more tequila.

    The old man drinks it as fast as he can.

    Then looks at the three men. He points at the third man and shouts

    "You! I eat out your mother!" The third man looks at the old man then looks at the other two men.

    All three of them get up and start walking over to the old man.

    Then they say "Come on dad, you have had too much to drink..."
    Er, I don't think this one is as funny as the rest...

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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Cynic on Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:56 am

    Well I liked that one Very Happy
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Deadly Pachirisu on Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:19 pm

    WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7?!?!?!?!?

    CUZ 7 "8" 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOL ROFLMAO LOLOLOL LMAO LOLOLOL ROFLCOPTERS LOLOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ... Wink
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by narutoactor on Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:16 pm

    ;p how original
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Deadly Pachirisu on Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:01 am

    Yep, I came up with that one all on my own!!! ;P
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Soul Pichu on Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:42 am

    Deadly Pachirisu wrote:WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7?!?!?!?!?

    CUZ 7 "8" 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOL ROFLMAO LOLOLOL LMAO LOLOLOL ROFLCOPTERS LOLOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ... Wink
    Lmao.
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Deadly Pachirisu on Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:45 am

    GO GET YOUR BUT REATTACHED WOMAN

    I always say that when people say "lmao" lol. Very Happy
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by narutoactor on Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:06 am

    You would look like double d ....maby with a hat (hahahaha)
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Deadly Pachirisu on Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:21 am

    Wut? :O

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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Cynic on Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:12 am

    Some guy didn't know how to spell suicide and he asked the teacher how to spell it..
    Then I asked him "How the hell don't you know how to spell that if you listen to Bring Me The Horizon and Suicide Silence?"
    I don know, it seemed really dumb <.<
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Deadly Pachirisu on Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:33 am

    Well I guess he was dumb then.
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by hibari_taicho on Thu Aug 27, 2009 11:19 pm

    Okay, people dont take this the wrong way. but..

    "Your moms like a Shotgun two cocks and she blows".


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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Deadly Pachirisu on Sat Aug 29, 2009 12:11 am

    Yo momma is so fat, that whenever she walks outside, there's a solar eclipse!

    Same as Wayne, don't take it the wrong way. Razz
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by hibari_taicho on Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:43 pm

    Damn, okay now heres mine.

    Your moms so fat i rolled over 9 times and the Bi*** was still on me.


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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Deadly Pachirisu on Sat Aug 29, 2009 9:24 pm

    Why did the chicken cross the road?!?!?

    TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE~!@~!@~!~!!!~!@!@@!~!~~!~~!!!!!@!@!@~~!~!!!!!!

    Wink
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Zentri on Sun Sep 06, 2009 12:24 am

    Thats not funny Wayne.
    I would have a joke, but, I don't.
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Cynic on Sun Sep 06, 2009 5:32 pm

    stephenswann wrote:Thats not funny Wayne.
    I would have a joke, but, I don't.
    afro
    Um..Was that offensive in any way to you?
    If it wasn't, then you shouldn't be saying that especially since you don't have a joke..
    Don't take it the wrong way please....
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Soul Pichu on Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:07 am

    Sorry people, I haven't posted in a loong time, I'm heading on vacation thins Friday, so I have to prepare mah self...
    Another Joke!!
    Spoiler:
    ABC's of ex girlfriends

    A
    is for Arteries.
    You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.

    B
    is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

    C
    is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

    D
    is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

    E
    is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

    F
    is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.

    G
    is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

    H
    is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.

    I
    stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

    J

    stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

    K
    stands for Kill.

    L

    is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.

    L
    is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

    M
    stands for Mephistopheles. That is who she worked for.

    N
    stands for Necrophiliac. She didn't move very much, did she?

    O
    is for On top. When on top she has another O word.

    P
    is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.

    Q
    is for Quitter. She couldn't last.

    R
    is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it.

    S

    stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

    T
    is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.

    U
    is for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement.

    V

    is for Voluptuous. That is the primary reason you were dating her in the first place.

    W
    stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

    X
    is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

    Y
    stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

    Z
    stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

    .
    stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.
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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by hibari_taicho on Wed Sep 09, 2009 2:52 pm

    Have fun.

    sorry i have no joke


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    Re: The Joke Thread!

    Post by Zentri on Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:02 am

    [I don't have a joke]


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